Stories by @thedispearing

O Sister, Where Art Thou? (2020)

Yeah, what if we gender-swapped the Coen brothers' (arguably) best film (not actually arguable)? I think it'd be cool! We'll push it up a couple decades, so now it's the 1950s, and now it's about women who didn't conform to male pressure and are on the run to win their families back! But like in a cool way, not in a lame girlboss kind of way. You get it, you get it, you get!

Tarzan: Between Two Worlds (2018)

Let's be real here, the Disney live-action remake era was weird. Between the uninspired remakes of classics like "Aladdin" and "The Lion King", it was pretty bad nostalgia bait (cue that one RLM clip where they play the Star Wars adult fan clip). But what if, it was kind of inspired? Okay, here me out. Obviously remaking the later films in the Disney Renaissance is either murky social territory (Pocahontas, Hunchback), or cable movie slop (Hercules, Emperor's). But what if you took a classic literary work, say, Tarzan, and reimagined as something like Peter Jackson's King Kong; part social commentary, part big budget spectacle. Picture this: a wealthy professor launches a major expedition into Equatorial Africa, hoping to find his great discovery, his reluctant daughter betrothed to his chief of security, when he finds his great discovery, a real feral human! Or who gives a whoop, amirite? I mean, I'm basically describing a whole new Tarzan adaptation, with the 1999 film as a cheap excuse for really remaking King Kong 2005 but with a normal sized dude! Sure would be better than the 2016 version. Or maybe I'm just pissed that 2018 is no longer the current era. Seriously, what the hell guys?!

House (2024-2031)

House... twenty years later and gender-swapped! Let's hope they do a better job with the final season this time.

Now You See Me (1993)

Now You See Me... Twenty Years Earlier!

Project X (2026)

Project X... 14 years later! Now, I won't lie, is this a movie that should be left in the past? Probably. But hey, it's fun to imagine what it would be like if this movie came out today, warts and all. And I should say, no open casting call thing here. Sorry to all you fancasters who feel so smart when you say "an unknown should play this role", when you know damn well the fun of fancasting comes from imagining recognizable actors in different roles! Obviously in real life the audition is king and actors are picked based on their performance in the role, but this is fantasy casting, so let's just have some fun! Whew, that was heavy. Alright, let's get into it!

Mission: Impossible 2 (2020)

You know the deal, gender-swapped and yadda-yadda.

Mission: Impossible (2016)

A gender-swapped remake of Mission: Impossible in 2016?! Whaaa?

Servant of the People

An American remake of the Ukrainian political satire that starred Zelenskyy.

Contact (2025)

The Carl Sagan story turned film, 28 years later.

Spider-Man (2025)

What if Spider-Man had a reboot similar to James Gunn's Superman?

Scythe (2025)

What if Scythe was adapted as a prestige TV sci-fi drama?

The Ultimate Disaster Flick

Oh, how we miss them. Though the days of a movie like Independence Day uniting everyone may seem like a halcyon dream now, it wasn't unrealistic all that long ago. Though a post-COVID world has made disaster flicks obsolete, let's recollect the age of Independence Day, The Day After Tomorrow, and 2012, and most importantly, let's make fun of it.

Sideways (2024)

Sideways, twenty years later.

Heat (2025)

A remake of Michael Mann's Heat, 30 years later.

Back to the Future (2015)

A remake of Back To The Future, where Marty travels back to 1995, when his parents are in college.

Night in the Woods

An adaptation of the 2017 adventure video game of the same name. Thankfully, no Edgar Wright involved.

Chicken Little (2025)

What's interesting about Chicken Little is that it had an element of Hollywood satire in it that was forgotten by most. Let's amp that up. Here's the synopsis: Chicken Little is a small but well-liked high-school senior, when on the night of his high-school prom, he warns the sky is falling, causing a massive car pile-up, and countless injuries. Killing his social reputation and facing multi-million dollar lawsuits, the Cluck family sell the rights to Chicken Little's experiences to a sly Hollywood producer to keep their livelihoods. Cut to one year later: Chicken Little's life is ruined, every college he applied to has revoked his acceptance and he's now stuck at home with his single mother working at a convenience store. However, that movie about the "sky is falling" incident has been fast-tracked and the film's star Ramy Youssef has come into town to do a PR stunt where he lives with the Clucks during the film's promotion. But when Chicken Little gets that paranoid feeling again, his heart sinks. Still, how could his life get any worse?

& Juliet

An adaptation of the Broadway musical with Max Martin songs retelling of Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet. Note: This is a joke!

The Ultimate Faded Glory Sports Movie

Sports! Everybody loves sports! That's a Parnabus Jackson quote right there. Anyways, sports films aren't exactly known for breaking the mold all that much, which makes them pretty easy to lampoon. From the semi-attractive douchebag main character who you just know has serious frat controversies in his background, to the young person they have to teach their "salt of the Earth" ways to, let's get crackin'!

X-Men (2000)

What if Michael Jackson's attempt to play Professor X in a X-Men film succeeded (yes, that actually happened)? Yes, I know this is a stupid concept.