The first proto-human tribe discovers fire… and immediately starts arguing over who controls it. A caveman invents capitalism by trading sticks. The first recorded "fake news" incident occurs when a priest convinces a village that eclipses are caused by an angry god who can only be appeased with money. The Roman Empire collapses due to bad economic decisions and overconfidence in their own immortality. European explorers "discover" land already populated by millions and promptly claim ownership. The Industrial Revolution begins, and the first CEO is born. Karl Marx tries to explain economic inequality but is ignored. America is founded, but all the Founding Fathers are drinking heavily and don't fully understand the Constitution they just wrote. A wealthy railroad tycoon invents the first "Too Big to Fail" company. World War I begins over bad alliances and ego. Wall Street creates wealth out of nothing and collapses. The Cold War is literally just two superpowers staring at each other while stockpiling nuclear weapons they never use. The 21st century arrives, and humanity becomes addicted to screens. A social media CEO accidentally destabilizes democracy by monetizing outrage. The world barely survives climate change, and billionaires start planning their escape. The final moment: An astronaut stares at the vastness of the cosmos and realizes the meaningless.
Story added by amrowe8596 on February 7, 2025
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