Stewart Lee

For hundreds of years, the Claus family has delegated the title "Santa" to a chosen few of its members, which can be passed down upon retirement. Each Christmas, Santa and his vast army of highly trained elves produce gifts and distribute them around the world in a one-night high-tech operation. However, when one of 600 million children to receive a gift from Santa on Christmas Eve is missed, it is deemed ‘acceptable’ to all but one—Arthur Claus, the current Santa’s misfit son deemed ineligible for the title, who executes an unauthorised rookie mission to get the last present halfway around the globe before dawn on Christmas morning.

In 2007, Stewart Lee was voted the 41st best stand-up of all time in an official Channel 4 poll, apparently better than Lenny Bruce but not as good as Jim Davidson. But what real difference does this accolade make? His TV pilot has been cancelled and his mother still thinks the 1970s game show host Tom O'Connor is funnier than him.